Inner Thoughts of Fred Andrews
by Bhare
Summary: Fred is taking a very hard look at himself after Archie learns about his affair with Hermione.


**This is filling my Bingo number (77) which is {Character} Fred and also the Color Symbolism (Brown - {home, stability, hearth}) from the** ** _Riverdale Fanfiction Challenge_** **Forum.**

 **(8)(8)(8)(8)(8)(8)(8)(8)(8)(8)**

I never started off in life thinking that I would screw myself over where my child was concerned. I didn't decide as a young child that I would cause my child pain enough where my child wouldn't _trust_ me again. That my child wouldn't be able to look me in the eyes with such innocence. With such respect.

I never dreamed that my soulmate would break my soul. But can you really call your soulmate - soulmate if they can easily break you? If they can so easily toss your soul aside? Isn't a soulmate opposed to _protect_ your soul?

I can not even hate her for destroying me. I knew what I was freely getting into when I gave her my soul. My heart. My name. When I made her my wife. I knew that she could leave me. But I always thought that she would fight on having to leave me. She would fight God himself to remain by my side on Earth for just a _little_ longer. I never dreamed that she would willing leave me. That she would want to live her life apart from me. That she wanted her heartbeat to not match with my own.

I can _hate_ her for hurting our innocent and pure son. For walking away from our child. Her child. The child she held close to her for nine months. The child that grew inside her. Loved her from inside her. Bonded with her from inside her. How could she have turned her back on him; and walked away? How could she abandon him?

 _Do you even care that he cried himself to sleep every single night for a year after you left? Do you even care that he still cries for you? Do you even care that he longs to see or to hear from you? Do you even care that he understands why you left? Do you even care that he blames himself for your leaving? Do you even care that he would willing leave me just so you will return?_

I won't allow my son to leave me. Not for her. He doesn't understand that if he left me then I would lose all hope for life. My home is with him. He is the reason why I can still live on this planet after my soulmate ripped my soul to pieces. My son; my Archie is my reason for still waking up in the morning. For going to work. For coming home.

I know that I have been hard on my son. Wanting him to follow in my footsteps. When I first held Archie in my arms I pictured him by my side always. Working alongside. Learning the importance of building things. Building _lasting_ things. I thought of the buildings that I was building. I was wrong in my thinking. My son; Archie; has taught me that.

I haven't told him yet. I haven't told him the things that he has taught me. I will. When the time is right. But looking into his eyes I know he knows. My son. My little boy. My beloved.

Archie has taught me that there is more ways to building lasting buildings. Not buildings that you can psychically see. That you can psychically touch. That you can psychically stand in; live in. No Archie; my son is teaching me that the lasting buildings in life are the ones that are on the _inside_.

I know that I have hurt him. With my weakness. With my affair with a married woman. Not only a married woman. But the mother of the girl he is crushing on. I know that he is having a hard time with the knowledge that his father slept with her mother ... in order for him to ask his crush out.

 _My son; my beloved son. Please don't rush into this. Don't allow your body to speak for your heart. Please allow my weakness to be your strength. Please don't ask her out. Please don't be hurt by your father wishing that you are denied this one thing that your body craves. It's not only your heart and soul that I want to protect. But hers as well. My son; my beloved son - she's not your soulmate. Your body is craving hers. Once your body and her body are done with the crave then you will move on to someone else. But someone else whom is very close to your very core of your soul will be forever hurt if you get with this crush. My son; my beloved son please heed my plea._

It is time to go back to the hearth. it's time to get my life back on the right stability path once more. My son; my beloved Archie needs his pop firmly back.


End file.
